Finding Balance
By Jane Ellen Nickell, TAF Communications and Membership Chair
LIKE MANY OLDER ADULTS, I have balance problems that have led to several recent falls. Because of an inner ear issue, I struggle to find the equilibrium that allows others to stand serenely in one-legged yoga poses like the tree. My legs and ankles tremble, and even a few moments of steadiness can be swept away by a sudden wave of tipsiness.
Balance is an important virtue in other areas of our lives. People talk about a good work-life balance, and I looked forward to retirement, when I wouldn’t be juggling the demands of a full-time job. But as many of you have no doubt found, I am at least as busy as I was during my working life. With a full schedule of volunteer activities and part-time work, I still seek to balance work and rest.
ACHIEVING BALANCE ALSO IMPACTS OUR SPIRITUAL LIVES. We find our souls troubled by a world full of violence, climate disasters, economic inequality, and authoritarian rule. Keeping ourselves spiritually well requires us to practice balance as a spiritual discipline.
We generally think of religion as requiring us to be all in, and not something to be done in a balanced or measured way. But religious extremists who become cult-like illustrate how easily religion can become a force for bad instead of good. When yoked to politics, extremism threatens democracy as well as religious communities.
Far right regimes around the world are imposing nationalist agendas. Extremists on the left are likewise opposed to centrist policies or candidates, leading to a government that is so polarized it is largely ineffective. The U.S. Congress has become a winner-take-all exercise in which the party in power rams through as much legislation as possible before they lose control and the other side takes over and does the same. Few are willing to seek middle ground on which to govern, and many centrists have left or been voted out of office.
We live in a world that is out of balance. Climate change has thrown the natural order of earth systems out of whack. Species are going extinct at an alarming rate. Economic inequality continues to increase, as an ever smaller number of people holds an ever greater percentage of wealth.
The Israeli attack on Gaza is so troubling because it is so out of proportion. Few people would condone Hamas’s attack on Israel, but the death toll is now 30 Palestinians to every one Israeli killed in that attack, with many more in Gaza suffering starvation, disease, and the terror of more strikes. Israel has a “right to defend itself,” but that bar has long since been passed, and ongoing action is way out of balance.
In the midst of such extremes, finding balance is a challenge.
TO IMPROVE MY PHYSICAL BALANCE, physical therapy is training me to ground my energy, keeping my feet and ankles as steady as possible, and to strengthen my core muscles. Those tactics can be applied to other areas of life as well. We can find balance, if we remain connected to the things that ground us and focus on our core beliefs and commitments.
As tempting as it is to block out the news altogether, we can follow it enough to be informed, but not so much that we become paralyzed by despair. We can balance mainstream media, which understandably covers the worst news, by looking for good news, through such sources as YES! Magazine and grassroots groups whose work cultivates hope.
We can attend to our own spirits, recognizing that for most of us, both the highest highs and the lowest lows are temporary. Various religious traditions counsel awareness that the human condition is impermanent, advising us in both good times and bad to remember that “this too shall pass.”
As stressful as many of us find this particular moment in time, taking a long view reveals that much of the world enjoys a better standard of living than at any time in history. The cost of renewable energy has dropped dramatically, so that wind and solar are now cheaper than fossil fuels. After struggling for decades, my own denomination, the United Methodist Church, recently dropped all language condemning LGBTQ persons and limiting their full involvement in the church. Such achievements support the idea of a long moral arc that inclines toward justice.1
BEING IN THIRD ACT HELPS ME STAY BALANCED. We are part of the forces working for justice, joining other elders to right some of the imbalances in this world before passing it on to future generations. This work is as important as any job for which I received a paycheck, helping me prioritize the myriad options retirement offers. I find purpose and meaning in being part of a group that has made noticeable change in its short lifetime.
Working with the Third Act Faith working group contributes to my spiritual balance. We are a group of lay persons and religious professionals from diverse traditions who find sacredness in our common work. We find spiritual ways to support Third Act campaigns, such as our current focus on the sacred right to vote that encourages religious communities to become more active in elections.
Addressing challenges to climate and democracy can produce stress and anxiety, so TAF is now giving all Third Actors opportunities to lament, heal, and find spiritual grounding. In conjunction with Third Act’s Hope & Joy gatherings, TAF offers online contemplative practices (Watch this web page for upcoming events.). We create opportunities and resources for blessing other actions, like our Service of Solidarity before the 3.21.23 Day of Action.
Our world feels imbalanced because of strong forces pulling us backward toward a more familiar past and forward toward a more inclusive and just future. But history teaches us that the world has felt topsy-turvy at many other points, and that things eventually even out. While some of us may not live to see that happen, working through Third Act allows us to help move the world toward a better future. Doing this work can cultivate balance in our own lives by providing hope and purpose in these challenging days.
About Jane Ellen Nickell
An ordained United Methodist minister, Jane Ellen Nickell lives in Meadville, Pennsylvania, where she retired after serving as Chaplain at Allegheny College for 16 years. In that role she worked with students of all faiths, or of none, and taught Religious Studies, including a course on Religion and Ecology. She is a former Co-Facilitator of Third Act Faith, a member of the Coordinating Committee, and serves as Communications Chair and Membership Chair. This essay is adapted from a post on her blog, A Nickell for Your Thoughts.
Most famously utterly by Martin Luther King Jr., this idea originated with Theodore Parker, a Unitarian minister and abolitionist.
Thank you, Jane Ellen, for your inspiring words. You expressed so beautifully what I have in my heart, encouraged by my own faith background in the Congregational Church and.... lo' these many years since its founding....the United Church of Christ.
As I approach the age of 80 I find balance to be an increasing challenge. Life has indeed become busier since my retirement. I love attending to my adult children; I send energy to my darling grand children. I continue to actively participate in the activities and committees of my Middletown, Connecticut church community.
Importantly I have chosen to create over 20 years a large email list; now, I use my laptop for good, forwarding positive peace and justice news into this 2024 chaotic world.
It helps to be aware that in TAF we are following paths together in faith.
Carolyn Shaw